[Also needs a way of finishing. As you started with a para of text, it needs a closing para of text to signal the close of the list.
[Will need sentence-level editing in TIO: loose sentences, pronouns ref and use ... mcm] [the repeated use of They for the students is interesting. It's a matter of making it work across the piece.]
I need to work on more images -- not sure exactly what images to include -- yellow traffic light? not sure what else -- abh
Keep Your Sanity
or: How To Survive a Road Trip With Your High School Speech Team Students
by Anna HamannHaving survived many road trips with my intrepid speech students, through blizzards and deer-laden obstacle courses, over rivers, through the woods, and across ice, there are some things I wish I had known earlier. It would've saved us all a lot of grief.
Here I am driving the van. I look so cheerful, don't I? Do not be deceived.
Things to have along
- A vomit bag. Or two. Doubled up plastic grocery sacks work well for this and can also double as garbage bags. Just be aware, the student prone to motion sickness will never choose to ride up front. For whatever bizarre, masochistic reason, that student will always want ride in the middle of the back,the absolute worst place for them to be. They will insist it will be fine. It will not.
- A good mapof the state with a detailed close-up of any metropolitan areas you may be driving into. It doesn't matter what mapquest directions you may have, the kid that is supposed to help you navigate will tell you the wrong thing at one or multiple points during the journey. I think they must reach a stage in adolescence during which their brainsare so crowded with important information that they must let go of other, non-essential, bits of information, such as the difference between right and left. Or the meaning of words such as "exit," turn," or "continue straight."
Which leads me to my next point
- Choose carefully the student that rides shotgun. You cannot leave this up to chance. You will need a student capable of some level of navigation, and for whatever reason, the student that wants to ride up front will not ever know which end of the map is up. The last thing you want to do with a van full of teenagers is wander around the countryside lost. In my experience storytellersare not good at navigation. Probably any student in an oral interpretation category is not going to be a good choice for this. Stick with a student from a public address category -- an extemp. speaker or original orator is a good choice. I am not trying to be overly derisive of interpers here. As a former interper, I know just how flaky we can be, we might as well just own it. Probably the fact that I am a former interper might be part of the reason why I need a PAer helping me navigate. Hmmmmm . . .
Two of my former speechers. We got lost four times on that trip.
Additional Things to Consider
- Walkie Talkies. If you are traveling with another van or two, and have access to good walkie talkies, bring them. You might think that teenagers that are constantly texting and talking on their cell phones would not find the excitement in using a walkie talkie. This couldn't be further from the truth. They love it. They will sing to the other van, talk in weird voices, other languages, etc. They will be entertained for hours. This is a good thing. Also,it is illegal for any person driving a Type III bus (a van with students in it) to talk on a cell phone while the vehicle is in operation. To my knowledge there is no law against using a walkie talkie to tell the other van you need a gas station break.
- Your own music. Most of these vans come equipped with cd players, so bring some music you actually want to listen to. There will be parts of the countryside you are driving through that have a limited selection of radio stations. It is critical that you have some way of passing the time. After a couple of hours of driving with no rational adult to talk to, you will start to go a little stir crazy. This leads to my next section:
When on the Road
- Under no circumstances allow them to gain control of the radio. You will regret it. They sing very loudly and their music has no actual lyrics of any literary meritwhatsoever. You will want to stab out your eardrums, and that is not good if you are going to be judging speeches later.
- Do not allow them to play "Truth or Dare,"or even worse "Never Have I Ever." No good will come of this. Should you lose control of the situation and they do play one of these games, this would be one of those times you want to have music handy. Drown them out. There are things you do not want to know about your speech students.
- Should you be tempted to fly through a yellow light because there is a gas station just past it and you have one student about to throw up and another student about to pee her pants, resist. It will turn red before you get through it. A cop car will appear out of thin air just behind you with lights flashing. When that happens your students will start to shriek and laugh. This, you understand, is all very entertaining for them. Telling them to pipe down will not help. If this should happen to you, all you can hope for is that the officer takes pity on you after seeing what you have to deal with . Better just to stop for all yellow lights.
On the way Home
- They will have their critiques. They will need to vent. Just listen. You will need to resist the urge to drown them out with loud music. This is not one of those times.
- Try not to laugh at them before they can see the humor in a situation. Even when they realize that they lost to the kid that picked his nose and ate what he found there in the middle of his speech. It is just not the time. They really just want you to tell them that the judge was clearly on crack. You can laugh until you cry later (maybe in the bathroom at the sixth or seventh gas station you have to stop at). Really, it is these moments that make it all worthwhile.
Finally
- Before you let them out at the end of the journey, make sure they have picked up all of their garbage. The last thing you want to do is unearth all of their junk at midnight when it is 20 below.
Do not freak out. The reality is that these trips are fun. In the middle of driving a white van through a blizzard you may feel like you are trapped in a horror movie, but years later these kids will come back to visit their old high school and you will laugh together about that trip. Yes, you were creeping down a deserted freeway of ice and snow, but thenThis American Life came on the radio and you all learned about the Amalgamated Order of Real-Bearded Santas and their political schism, in-fighting, and battle for control. During that twenty minutes you all laughed so hard you cried and your stomachs hurt for hours. These kids and those trips are what is keeping you young.
Image of driving in a blizzard from Chuck Schlegel
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