Biography and Tone

Culinary Memoirs Tone

I cooked for Van Morrison once, it wasn't that thrilling from my end, (he had an egg-white and goat cheese omelette) but the waitress stole the chair from the restaurant when he left and was very excited. A couple of years later in a little town in Mexico I cooked for Stephanie Myers shortly after the Twillight movie came out, and she showed up with a bunch of the actors and studio people who I didn't know but I talked too anyway. Many of them they were on a goofy "raw veg" diet, and some of them were eating "according to their signs". Which I thought was weird. I made spirals out of beets, carrots, leeks, and fennel bulbs tossed in a citrus tarragon vinaigrette. They were back lit by large candles and the whole affair was quite pretty (veranda, hyacinth/hibiscus/roses, ocean air) . One of the studio guys said he didn't like beets, but we were a few tequila shots deep, and I convinced him that if ate a whole plate full, he would shit a sunset, and piss a sunrise. I ran into him the following day, and he confessed that he was hungover, but his bowel movement was his favorite part of the trip.

17th Century Egghead Tonality

"Yet once more, O ye laurels, and once more" John Milton, Lycidus

Milton gave his sight, and Pound gave his sanity to the laurels of the Muse. I shall be thrust upon a wat'ry bier, before the mrytles berry has ripened upon that vine. In youth I built a lofty rhyme, and temper'd to an oaten flute, and yes, I sang with uncouth swine, and perhaps Dameaetas was pleased. But Lycidus, I was not. Il Penseroso, I was not. My mind at as many many worldly pursuits as "gay motes that people the sunbeams" still I did find time to "hail divinest Melancholy". Many nights were spent among a Stygian cave forlorn, and many more with Eurydice. And yet I stood at Visiuvius, and where Mama Killa eclipsed beneath a Mountain Arch. Onto "Deva's wizard stream" or well the western wheel set upon Cimmerian dessert, and Cerberus.

As Irish Drinking Song and Dance Man

When me mother started drinking the Codfish Oil juice, my father was surprised. He was studying to be a learned man in between his voyages. My Mather had, bless her soul, foisted me upon my Grandmama and she to took me in kindly. I stayed with her in gaiety until, my father took me Mather back. We traveled near and far, though mostly in the great north. I wee bit later I ended in a little ol' town known for prostitution, beavers, and a big lumber jack. Here we took to gambling and vice. She was beautiful town, with many a stream and lake for leisure to take. I met a bewitching maiden, and she sent my heart a twitching, and we had many times when there was hooley in the kitchen. Ay, she slightly hinted marriage, but poison she was spittin' I traveled back down south, and learned not to be courting in the kitchen.
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